Magic Man

I think the story is great, however I think in the fast-passed parts, don't use to many adjectives because to a normal reader they start to A) not read the ...

Personally I think this should be a horror story (if it is then sorry). also I'm not to sure how a laugh can be forced, maybe, being tickled. I don't ...

I think it's pretty cool, but I got a little confused at how he got on that slaughtering table so quick. Also you have put in the last paragraph two ...